09/05/2026
A vulnerable post 🥹
Well…between hobbling about like a pirate with a wooden leg and hiding away in the shed making silver hares and Isle of Wight pendants, I’ve had a bit of a revelation this week!
I’ve been struggling badly (understatement) with my Achilles again, I also found out one of my already huge feet (plural, they’ve both historically been big!) has grown a WHOLE EXTRA SIZE (extra bone has grown…just don’t, I can’t!!) 😳 so, for comfort I finally gave in and bought a pair of proper fitting trainers that were recommended to me specifically to help insertional Achilles tendinitis - And let me tell you…they are like strapping two supportive whacking gert big marshmallows to your feet. Big and bulky? Well, yes and they look proper cool on ‘normal’ footed people. Comfortable? Ye gods YES!
BUT.
They also triggered something in me that I didn’t fully realise I was still carrying around.
Unless you’re tall, broad, plus sized and blessed with feet like a Hobbit who’s trained for marathons, you probably won’t understand the lifelong sadness of feeling like you simply take up “too much space.” I’ve had comments my whole life about my height, my size, my feet, my body…all those tiny little remarks people throw out and forget instantly.
Meanwhile neurospicy wonky me apparently collected them all like cursed Pokémon cards and stored them in my brain for 52 years 🙃 that culminated in me making sure I was the first person to mention anything about my size before anyone else could just to steal their thunder and quench their satisfaction before they left me with another collectible to scar my heart with!
Which meant, all I ever did was put myself down!
So there I was on my hobble through the woods in my incredibly comfortable giant clown trainers, limping away whilst moaning dramatically about whether Achilles tendons really have any benefit at all (spoiler: they do!) when I suddenly thought:
Hang on a minute…
Who exactly decided I’m not allowed to take up the space I naturally take up?
Who benefits from me shrinking myself? Apologising for existing? Feeling embarrassed because my shoe size now requires planning permission?
And honestly? I got quite cross with myself 🤣
Because I can guarantee every single person who ever made me feel awkward or “too much” has long since forgotten they even said those things. Yet I’ve been carrying them around in my already overcrowded brain like some sort of emotional backpack full of bricks. 😳
So no more.
I am officially retiring from the lifelong sport of making myself smaller for other people’s comfort.
I shall continue taking up space.
In Hokas.
Like a slightly sweary, wobbly and wonky woodland cryptid.
Making silver hares in a shed.
And that revelation feels quite refreshing actually 😃 💚
