05/05/2026
COMRADES… it has arrived. 💥
The beard.
Not just a beard… but THE beard.
Forged in the fires of craftsmanship by the mighty , this prosthetic masterpiece is worthy of a true Soviet super soldier!
My current beard? Respectable. Honourable.
But this… this is next level heroism.
Soon, I will shave.
Yes… sacrifices must be made for greatness.
And then I will glue this glorious creation to my face and become…
MORE Red Guardian than ever before. 😎
These are only teasers, comrades.
You are not yet ready for full power of this beard.
I will arrive at future events with facial hair so magnificent, even David Harbour will say,
‘This man… he understands beard.’
For the Motherland… and for glorious facial hair! 🛡️🇷🇺