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Flare Gems, Colombo (2026)

16/05/2016

10 Tips to Overcome Negative Thoughts: Positive Thinking Made Easy

Negative thoughts drain you of energy and keep you from being in the present moment. The more you give in to your negative thoughts, the stronger they become.When we start to have negative thoughts, it’s hard to stop them. And it’s much easier said than done to shift your focus to positive thoughts. But it’s the only way, especially if you want to avoid going down a path that is painful and unnecessary. Here are ten tips to overcome negative thoughts:

1. Meditate or do yoga.

One of the first things I did was head to a yoga class. It took my focus away from my thoughts and brought my attention to my breath. Yoga is also very relaxing, which helped ease my mind. Yoga helped me stay present to my experience so instead of jumping to what could happen, it brought me back to the now—the only moment, the most important moment.

2. Smile.

I didn’t do much of this during the weekend, so I literally had to bring myself in front of a mirror and force myself to smile. It really does help change your mood and relieve stress. I also felt lighter because it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown.

3. Surround yourself with positive people.

I called a friend who I knew could give me constructive yet loving feedback. When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, talk to people who can put things into perspective and won’t feed your negative thinking.

4. Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive.

For example, instead of thinking, “We are going to have a hard time adjusting to our living situation,” think, “We will face some challenges in our living situation, but we will come up with solutions that we will both be happy with.”

5. Don’t play the victim. You create your life—take responsibility.

The way I was thinking and acting, you would think I was stuck. Even if our living situation becomes unbearable, there is always a way out. I will always have the choice to make change happen, if need be.

6. Help someone.

Take the focus away from you and do something nice for another person. I decided to make a tray of food and donate it to the Salvation Army. It took my mind off of things and I felt better for helping someone else.

7. Remember that no one is perfect and let yourself move forward.

It’s easy to dwell on your mistakes. I felt terrible that I acted this way and that I wasted our weekend. The only thing I can do now is learn from my mistakes and move forward. I definitely don’t want to have a weekend like that again.

8. Sing.

I don’t remember lyrics very well and it’s probably the reason that I don’t enjoy singing, but every time I do sing I always feel better. When we sing, we show our feelings and this provides an amazing stress relief.

9. List five things that you are grateful for right now.

Being grateful helps appreciate what you already have. Here’s my list: my cats, health, a six-week trip to Asia, a new yoga class that I’ll be teaching, and for my mom’s biopsy coming out clean.

10. Read positive quotes.

I like to place Post-It notes with positive quotes on my computer, fridge door, and mirror as reminders to stay positive. Also, We’d like to share with you all a quote by an unknown author that was shared in a meditation class that one of our members at Cosmuk attended:

Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

15/05/2016

Here are few positive affirmations for finding love. If you want to attract love in your life, you have to first give out love. The affirmations for love given here will help you become a loving person. Humans cannot live without air, food, water and love. As you can see, among the four indispensable things for life, only love is intangible. Find love in your life using these positive affirmations for love. When you send positive vibrations to the universe, you receive positive things from the universe.

Recommendation - **Say these affirmations to yourself ever day**

1) I am surrounded by love and everything is fine.

2) My heart is always open and I radiate love.

3) All my relationships are long lasting and loving.

4) I see everything with loving eyes and I love everything I see.

5) My partner is the love of my life and the center of my universe. He loves me as much as I love him.

6) In life I always get what I give out and I always give out love.

6) I encounter love in all my relationships and I love these encounters.

7) I deserve love and I get it in abundance.

8) I have attracted the most loving person in my life and life is now full of joy.

9) I love myself and everybody else and in return everybody loves me.

10) Everywhere I go, I find love. Life is joyous.

12) My partner and I are perfect match for each other and the love between us is divine.

13) I am in love with a wonderful person who is caring, committed, loyal, trustworthy and understanding.

14/05/2016

A true gentleman may quickly become the center of attention but he will never take his eyes off his own lady, no matter how many other women are competing to get his attention. There are many men who try to play the game, drawing in many women and treating each like they are disposable and interchangeable. A real gentleman would never do this no matter how high his popularity may be with others or how attractive he is to the opposite s*x. A real man who has been raised properly and taught to act like a gentleman understands that respect for his lady is a top priority, and that this reflects well on him as well.

12/05/2016

We all deserve to feel beautiful. We love getting our make-up and hair done. Make up does not make us whole, but it does feel nice to treat ourselves to facials, manicures, pedicures and massages. Make a point of not feeling guilty for treating yourself once in a while. No one else is going to treat you the way you want to be treated, so balance your budget and treat yourself to the things you want on a regular basis.

09/05/2016

THE GENTLEMANLY APOLOGY

Dearest darling men, We at Cosmuk truly wish you never had to apologize, but you’re men after all. Ok, It shouldn’t be so cynical, you’re human, and we all make mistakes, right? Thank goodness for mercy, compassion, understanding, and tolerance. To err is to be human, and to forgive is, well, to be wonderful. But before we can reach forgiveness, we need to master the art of the apology. And a true gentleman, in his noble and decorous way, is very good at this.

Think back to 2nd grade. Some girl is crying because some boy broke her special pencil. The teacher says to the boy, “Now say you’re sorry.” He sarcastically blurts his apologies with a snicker, so the teach adds, “Like you mean it.”

Like you mean it.

The like you mean it part is important even as grownups. Apologizing can make you feel better, but more importantly, if you mean it, it should make you contemplate the wrong that was done, intentionally, consciously, or not. And then, it should make the other person feel better, too.

What wrongs do we do? Oh, come on. You’re men, you're human. You screw up at work. You break a promise to a friend. You forget an important date, like an anniversary. You tell a lie to your lover. Don’t say, “Who me? Not me?” Yes you. We all at some point have let those who are counting on us down. Whether we intended the harm or not, it’s important to understand the wrong that has been done in order to deliver the appropriate apology, and thus receive the atonement a delivery of I’m sorry seeks.

In some cases, such as a slip-up in an intimate relationship, a visit and a personally delivered apology is best.

Flowers can be a nice follow-up, but you shouldn’t rely on buying your way out of a wrongdoing. And if you send flowers after a more personal means of apology, make sure the size of the bouquet reflects the magnitude of the offense.

In other cases, such as a minor screw up at work, an email or phone call with a sincerely delivered “I’m sorry” will be greatly appreciated.

For life’s biggest blunders, We suggest a carefully hand written a note on a special piece of paper. And then, perhaps, a little of all of the above.

Most important to any apology, however, is the act of engaging your conscience. Contemplate the other person’s feelings. Truly strive to understand what was wrong and why. And then take responsibility. If you’re delivering your apology in person, by email, or by handwriting, prior thought and saying it like you mean it will do you a world of good. This shows your boss, or your girlfriend, or your angry neighbor, that you’re thinking, you’re aware, you’re committed, and you’re not going to make this mistake again.

Yes, a gentleman puts his best foot forward and tries not to make mistakes in the first place, but it happens to the best. To understand that trust is the cornerstone of all good relationships, and to travel whatever distance necessary to restore lost trust is the mark of refinement. Getting good people into your life was a feat in the first place, now engage your honor to keep them there.

08/05/2016

Here are 12 timeless tips on how to be a gentleman that will enhance your life, both personally and professionally:

1. Define Your Personal Style

When I hear “gentleman” I think suit, tie, polished shoes… and stuffy. Seriously, I just fell asleep thinking about it.

Luckily, the definition has evolved and isn’t attached to a certain look anymore – it’s all about attitude and how you carry yourself. Choose a personal style that reflects your personality and lifestyle. Don’t buy clothes you think you should, otherwise you may as well wear a sandwich board that says I have no idea who I am!

2. Keep Your Hygiene in Check

Put effort into your appearance. Keep yourself clean, showered, and groomed. Women do enjoy scruffy, but controlled scruffy – you don’t want your date asking where you hid your cardboard sign and paper cup.

In other words: don’t smell. And perhaps reserve the gnarly Davy Jones beard for the NHL playoffs.

3. Be a Grown-up

It’s now commonplace for potential employers to check out your social media profiles. You’ll also be hard-pressed to find a woman who won’t do the same before dating you. Even if the pictures are from years ago and you’ve since cleaned up your act, they’re not going to see “now” you. They’re going to see “then” you, a.k.a. K-Fed hat and beer b**g.

While you’re at it, set up a grown-up e-mail address. The sounds-dirty-but-isn’t e-mail account you’ve had since high school is the farthest thing from gentlemanly. Ever.

4. Keep Language PG-13

As someone who’s an unintentional potty mouth, I was alarmed to find out how many people are offended by swearing. I now do my best to keep the f-bombs at a minimum.

It’s obviously a huge no-no in professional settings, but trust me, when you constantly swear in your personal life, it becomes increasingly difficult to reel in the habit at work.

Consider this a top priority if you want to be a gentleman. Not only will expanding your vocabulary make you a better communicator, you’ll impress others across the board with your intelligence and professionalism.

5. Connect With People

Say hello as you’re walking past a stranger. Let someone go in front of you in the grocery line. Make eye contact. Be approachable. It’s one of the best ways to open yourself up to new people, experiences, and professional connections.

To be a gentleman while you’re out, always remember it’s all about them. Be a good listener. Ask questions. Take note of what’s important to them, and they’ll take note of you.

6. Find Your Purpose

Beyond a nice home and financial security, what do you want? What are you passionate about? What mark do you want to make? Define what you live for. Not only will you feel more fulfilled, it’ll lead to so much depth and substance your head will spin. Everything will feel that much brighter.

Don’t take my word for it: be a gentleman and find out for yourself.

7. Be Clear About What You Want

Not making a decision is a decision in itself, and it’s not a good one! If you want the respect of others, know what you want and what you don’t, and be clear about it. Knowing how to say no is one of the most well-respected things you can do for yourself.

You don’t want to be a wishy-washy person who constantly flakes on those you care about because you over-commit, and you certainly don’t want to be the guy with no opinion or backbone.

8. Hold the Door Open

Holding the door open for people is a gentleman’s calling card. It’s one of the most subtle yet powerful ways to show your consideration for others.

Game. Set. Match.

9. Keep Your Promises

A big part of being a gentleman is respecting others’ time and meaning what you say. If you say you’re going to meet someone at a specific time, don’t be late. When you tell someone you’re going to help them with something, help them. When you promise you’ll have a project done by a certain date, meet your deadline.

Not only will this build trust with those you care about, it will also help build self-trust, a crucial-yet-underrated form of trust when you’re a gentleman.

10. Return the Favor
It’s all about the little things, both at work and at home. If a co-worker helped you setup a killer presentation, help them with their annual report. If your girlfriend picked up groceries, carry them in for her. Always make sure you’re helping enhance the lives of those you care about.

11. Pick Up After Yourself

Keeping a tidy office, home, and car will leave a good impression on anyone you meet. It shows you take yourself seriously, and take pride in what you’ve worked hard for.

Fast forward ten years to when you’re living with your future wifey: if you build the habit now, you’ll be one of the few who aren’t nagged about leaving their socks on the floor! Win/win.

12. Be You

Nobody’s looking to hire or date a Ken doll. Our professional and personal lives are now fused together thanks to technology, so drop all that compartmentalizing and be authentic 24/7. Let your guard down and stop trying to look so glossy. Not to sound all hippy, but just be.

What’s ironic about the art of being yourself is what makes you unique is usually what makes you self-conscious. The flaws you find irritating are appealing and endearing to everyone else – they’re what set you apart and make you memorable. Would you rather be memorable or a cardboard cutout? That’s what I thought.

Being at ease with who you are is the sign of a true gentleman. Gentlemen don’t lie or mislead – they’re as comfortable with themselves as they want you to be. Being a gentleman never goes out of style – put these tips into practice and you’ll be well on your way to gentleman status.

01/05/2016

Seven-Step Prescription for Self-Love.

1) Become mindful. People who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel and want. They are mindful of who they are and act on this knowledge, rather than on what others want for them.

2) Act on what you need rather than what you want. You love yourself when you can turn away from something that feels good and exciting to what you need to stay strong, centered, and moving forward in your life, instead. By staying focused on what you need, you turn away from automatic behavior patterns that get you into trouble, keep you stuck in the past, and lessen self-love.

3) Practice good self-care. You will love yourself more, when you take better care of your basic needs. People high in self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy activities, like sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions.

4) Set boundaries. You'll love yourself more when you set limits or say no to work, love, or activities that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually, or express poorly who you are.

5) Protect yourself. Bring the right people into your life. I love the term frenemies that I learned from my younger clients. It describes so well the type of "friends" who take pleasure in your pain and loss rather than in your happiness and success. My suggestion to you here: Get rid of them! There isn't enough time in your life to waste on people who want to take away the shine on your face that says, "I genuinely love myself and life". You will love and respect yourself more.

6) Forgive yourself. We humans can be so hard on ourselves. The downside of taking responsibility for our actions is punishing ourselves too much for mistakes in learning and growing. You have to accept your humanness (the fact that you are not perfect), before you can truly love yourself. Practice being less hard on yourself when you make a mistake. Remember, there are no failures, if you have learned and grown from your mistakes; there are only lessons learned.

7) Live intentionally. You will accept and love yourself more, whatever is happening in your life, when you live with purpose and design. Your purpose doesn't have to be crystal clear to you. If your intention is to live a meaningful and healthy life, you will make decisions that support this intention, and feel good about yourself when you succeed in this purpose. You will love yourself more if you see yourself accomplishing what you set out to do. You need to establish your living intentions, to do this.

If you choose just one or two of these self-love actions to work on, you will begin to accept and love yourself more. Just imagine how much you'll appreciate you when you exercise these seven-steps to self-love. It is true that you can only love a person as much as you love yourself. If you exercise all of the actions of self-love that I describe here, you will allow and encourage others to express themselves in the same way. The more self-love you have for yourself, the better prepared you are for healthy relating. Even more, you will start to attract people and circumstances to you that support your well-being.

Flare Gems

16/05/2016

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