09/03/2026
STORY TIME!!!
One day my neighbour came to knock on my door with that serious “abeg help me” face.
She said,
“Please, my friend is stranded. She doesn't have where to sleep tonight. Can she just manage your place for ONE night?”
I looked at her and asked the obvious question:
“Why can’t she sleep in your house?”
My neighbour said,
“Ahhh… it’s not possible. We are already five people inside one room and parlour. My mum, my dad, myself, my son and my sister. And my mum will never allow it.”
At that point I said okay… one night is not a big deal since I am familiar with the said lady.
Ladies and gentlemen…
One night became two nights.
Two nights became three nights.
Before I knew what was happening, we were approaching two weeks like a government project timeline.
But to be fair, the girl tried small. She would come late at night when I had already settled in and she always said,
“I will sleep on the floor.”
She leaves early morning like a tenant avoiding landlord.
So I said okay, no wahala.
Then one glorious day she came to me excited like someone that just won Big Brother.
She said a guy she met has a building and told her she could stay in one of the unfinished rooms.
I even supported the relocation project. I gave her one bedsheet and a mat so she can manage until she gets a mattress.
Three days later…
THREE. DAYS.
This same girl started telling people in the compound that I was gossiping about her.
Me???
The same person whose floor you were using as bedroom extension???
Mind you, my boyfriend had already been disturbing me before.
He said,
“See ehn… this girl drinks and smokes. What if she goes to a party, something happens to her, and she comes back to sleep here and doesn’t wake up? What will you tell police?”
After hearing that one, fear enter my body small.
So I told my neighbour (her friend) that I’m happy she finally found somewhere to stay and she should advise her to manage that place well and save up for her own apartment and pick up her life as Nigeria is not smiling at anybody anymore. Because if you're not careful you would be in your 30s and be wondering what you are doing with your life.
Next thing I heard…
Madam is telling people she will beat me up because I was gossiping about her.
Up till today…
I am still waiting.
I even kept one wrapper ready in case fight wants to start.
But the funniest part?
Life moved faster than her anger.
"Allegedly" before one month finished, the same person chased her out of the building. (I am honestly not sure)
Now she is roaming again looking for where to sleep.
Two days ago she saw me and said “Hi.”
I looked at her the way NEPA looks at Nigerians during heat season.
I just passed.
Because I know that “Hi” was not greeting.
That was accommodation application form.
Anyway sha…
Karma in Nigeria does not use Uber.
It runs very fast.👻
