Zaneta Young - Life You Love Coaching

22/07/2019

How do we train tomorrow’s leaders? Here are five ways to fine-tune leadership skills in kids so they can lead in territory quite unlike our own with confidence!

15/11/2018

As mums, dads, nurturers of people we love & care about...

It is inevitable at some point or other to worry.

Are they working too hard? Not hard enough?
Not getting enough sleep? Sleeping too much?
Are they happy? Have they got all they need to succeed at X? Am I doing enough?....

As a coach I often get asked what else can I do for my child?

Almost always my answer is. Nothing. You are doing enough. In fact, you are doing amazing! I know this because the fact we are having the conversation, I know how much you care.

In these moments it is important to remember the difference we make as parents the minute we walk into our baby's room, and the comfort they got just from seeing our face. In that moment, our presence said to them "I am here for you. I love you. You are okay." The simple act of walking through the door (well at least in our calm and not over exhausted moments!) - made a huge difference to their distress! 😅 This has not changed. No matter the age. No matter the stage. Or how 'bad' the problem is...

We forget in these moments who we are being about their concern, distress or apparent apathy (the go away, and I don't care moments). Trust me they do care... - who we are being about it makes a world of difference.

The biggest difference we can make to our kids or anyone we love/care about is to begin with ourselves. Befriending ourselves in these moments of uncertainty.

What would a true friend say to you right now?
Ask yourself, What is the thing I need most today?
What can I do to create the space for my need to be met? (Not wants, 😅 we all want many things, but our true, real need within)
What do I need emotionally, physically, spiritually right now?

When we park the issue...
And allow time for our own needs to be met. Something incredible happens.
The person who walks in the door (like the baby's room) is no longer the same person.

And that makes ALL the difference for those we love. ❤

They get the love, support, courage and feel safe in your presence to do what they need to do.

It worked then. It still works now.

Have you ever walked into a room of people at work frazzled about a client issue? You walked in relaxed and ready and within seconds you adopted their state? Similar thing. In the opposite direction! 😊

So if you were being a true friend today to yourself...

What is 1 thing your friend will say you need to do for yourself?

Then, what can you do to make this happen?

Like Elizabeth Gilbert says in an interview with OnBeing...Friendship is much easier to grasp than self-love. It all begins with Friendship. From the inside out. Then stand back and watch the ripples 😊

31/10/2018

I loved this TED talk by Elizabeth Gilbert - author of Eat, Pray, Love
So many gems in it!

About creating something amazing, then not being afraid or daunted by the thoughts - will I ever be that good ever again?

Loved the idea that creativity is not about being a genius (that either you are, or you are not) but more of an inexplicable source that enters our consciousness, and that sometimes it doesn't.

And loved her comment about having the stubbornness to keep showing up regardless of whether what you produce will be awesome or never ring true or be noticed by anyone!

"Just do your job. If your job is to dance. Dance." All you have to do is show up.

Have a wonderful day people!

Elizabeth Gilbert muses on the impossible things we expect from artists and geniuses -- and shares the radical idea that, instead of the rare person "being" a genius, all of us "have" a genius. It's a funny, personal and surprisingly moving talk.

07/10/2018

21/08/2018

LIFE LESSONS FROM A 5 YEAR OLD: 💛

My girl age 5
Family member says something...
Miss 5: gets upset, on the verge of tears. "She's going to tell on me!..." or "they won't play with me!". Or "you don't love meee".
Gets cuddle. Soothing words. Less then a minute later is hugging and playing with her sister. Forgets the issue altogether.

Me age 35
Family member says something...
Me: 1. Gets upset
2. Shove comment down and bury it as far as it will go, right next to the worst insults ever, section.
Plasters on a smile on top of all the buried s**t. Tries to continue on with life as if it never happened. Comment etched permanently into my memory, to be used as a reminder on what to watch out for next time!

Which one has more personal power?

When did it become more important to bottle sh*t up than admit we are upset?

When did being upset become not okay as a normal human emotion?

When did being vulnerable become a weakness? When in fact it isn't.

When did sharing the impact of others words or actions on us, become a no, no? It's never easy...but boy is it worth it! The truth is....we tell ourselves: they didn't mean it. Or that's just the way this person is. I should just forget about it. Or... They'll never get it.

When really, it doesn't actually matter if they get it or not. It even doesn't matter if they apologise or not. What matters is we honor what we feel. Reasonable or not, we can't help what we feel.

And what's more, when we honor how we feel, it allows the other person to honor theirs stuff too. When that happens we have real honest communication. Love restored. Boom. Its scary. But it's worth it.

14/07/2018

Love this. Thanks Fav Mother in Law 😘

12/07/2018

Today I had the privilege to have a really amazing conversation with a teen, and amazing young woman. I've never met her, but I was given her as someone to contact with regards to what I'm up to with my coaching. I'd like to share her vision for young people of NZ with you...

Her vision is for all young people of NZ to be free to be themselves regardless of race, age, s*x, s*xuality, appearance, religion or personal beliefs.

What amazed me the most about her vision is the fact that she has had to create this in the first place, and it is not something that is already available for her and others her age right now - in 2018. Which to me was shocking and is heart breaking.

This brought me thinking back to a few days ago, when my 7 year old boy (after painting his sisters nails with me) asked if boys wear nail polish. Externally my response was, "if you want to wear nail polish, you wear nail polish darling". And left it at that. Internally, I was like, 'please don't pick pink!'. And I really hope he has an okay day tomorrow at school. What this made me realize is no, we don't live in a world where we can fully explore and express who we are and be accepted - not agreed with/disagreed with, but just accepted. And it made me ask myself who can I be about this? Who can I be at home, but also who can I be as parent so that others feel accepted in the space of my kids?
Who can we be as parents at home so that our kids can express who they are in a safe space? A space where they can learn and figure out - what works for them and what doesn't work? A space to make mistakes and use them as a learning to grow, instead of being afraid of failure/getting it wrong/or not pleasing us. A friend of mine said to me, "if I find my daughter is trying to please me - I have failed to do my job as a mum". Now I get it.
It starts at home. And then asking myself/ourselves who should I be being, so that my kids can feel able to be the kind of people that make others feel safe, supported, and accepted around them?

02/06/2018

Ready to take the next step towards a Life You Love and are excited about? Call for a free chat to see if Life You Love Coaching is right for you! 🧡😁