http://www.aptapparelstore.com/

APT Apparel, Delano, CA (2026)

05/17/2026

Today at 3pm

04/25/2026

1200 Garzoli

04/25/2026

Join us tomorrow at the Hyatt Place Delano!
$60 Backpacks, $25 Banks, $5 Funkos and Pins!!! Plus a $1 Raffle for a Backpack! everyone please highlight

04/20/2026

I had a call from a scammer the other day:

Me: “Hello?”

Definitely-Not-Microsoft:
“Hello sir. This is Bob from Microsoft Support. We are detecting dangerous virus activity on your device.”

Me:
“Oh dear… my device? Are you sure?”

Definitely-Not-Microsoft:
“Yes sir. Very serious. Many alerts.”

Me:
“Well that doesn’t sound good. What do I need to do?”

Definitely-Not-Microsoft:
“Don’t worry. I will help you right now. Are you standing in front of your device?”

Me:
“Yes. I was just about to use it anyway. I’m glad you called.”

Definitely-Not-Microsoft:
“Good. Please press the Start button.”

Me:
“I think it already started.”

Definitely-Not-Microsoft:
“That’s okay. Now click on Control Panel.”

Me:
“I don’t see that.”

Definitely-Not-Microsoft:
“Do you see a lot of information above the Start button?”

Me:
“Yes.”

Definitely-Not-Microsoft:
“That is your Control Panel.”

Me:
“Well would you look at that. I’ve been using this thing for years and never knew it had a name.”

Definitely-Not-Microsoft:
“Now sir, click Internet Options.”

Me:
“I don’t think I bought the Internet package. This was on sale.”

Definitely-Not-Microsoft:
“All computers have Internet, sir. Please press Start again.”

Me:
“Alright… looks the same.”

Definitely-Not-Microsoft:
“No problem. We will restart the device. Please turn it off.”

Me:
“Oh… I don’t know how. I’ve never turned it off since I bought it.”

Definitely-Not-Microsoft:
“There must be an off button. What do you press when it’s running?”

Me:
“I usually press the big button.”

Definitely-Not-Microsoft:
“Please press the big button.”

Me:
“Okay.”

Definitely-Not-Microsoft:
“Is the device off now?”

Me:
“No… but the door just popped open.”

Definitely-Not-Microsoft:
“Door? Is there a disc inside?”

Me:
“No. There’s a frozen burrito.”

Definitely-Not-Microsoft:
“…Why is there a burrito in your computer?”

Me:
“Computer?
I thought you said this was microwave support.”