06/22/2018
I'm having some musings today on the importance of a sense of perspective, and the fact thta I don't seem to have one.
I've been in almost a fury the past couple of days because a salesman at my current internet provider sold me a cable TV package I didn't want by misleading me into thinking I was getting a sweet deal on a streaming package. The Chick does not do cable. The Chick had gotten spoiled. Once you've had a taste of streaming TV, there's just no going back to cable. But of course, my bill had increased, as internet bills will, to the point where I decided it was time to try to get a better deal from the competing company.
The worst part is, the salesman didn't actually lie to me. He just ommitted to tell me that his company does not offer streaming TV in my area and that the TV package he was selling me was cable, when I had specifically called asking if they had a deal on basic internet with streaming TV.
Yesterday, after having a customer service person try to p*e on my leg and tell me it was raining, followed by some shouting and ranting on my part, I managed to wrangle a "customer appreciation discount" for the local broadcast I'm not getting. I still have access to HBO Go, so I won't miss the season finale of Westworld, but...
I'm still not happy.
So, right now, Immigrants who have had their children taken from them are being deported without their kids, who are being kept in cages, my mother is in severe pain from what may or may not be dental issues, my best friend from shortly after high school just finished cancer treatment and also has a brain injury from an accident a couple of years back and what am I stressing over to the point of causing myself anxiety attacks?
A salesman decieved me about an entertainment package.
I'm wondering why I'm this upset over something so t rivial. Sales people decive customers, it's just what they do. And really, I don't think the sky is going to fall if I don't find out if my theory that there are actually two versions of Bernard running around is correct until the DVD comes out or some as***le spoils it for me, and no I"m not going to ask the cards.
Speaking of which, aren't I supposed to be the Tarot Chick? Fortell the future and all that? Shouldn't I have been able to predict all of that?
Actualy, no. That's not how I work. I regard the cards as more of a psychological too than a predictive one, and I'm more into analyzing a situation and give some intuitve advice on how a problem can be dealt with. When I read for myself, I'm doing more self-psychoanalysis than anything else. And at any rate, is the decision to change internet providers really something people get readings about? I wouldn't bother pulling any cards on the subject.
I'm actually feeling better now than I was earlier today. I started back at my volunteer gig at a local soup kitchen today, and that helped get my mind off s**t. I think just writing this post, which seems to have started as a rant and turned into a ramble, seems to be helping.
But I'm wondering... is it just that this happens to be affecting me personally and Im just a selfish person? I think there might be something deeper. I suffer an anxiety disorder, which basically means that I don't see the world as a safe place. (You'd be shocked at how many psychically sensitive people suffer mental disorders, and I don't mean psychosis- anxiety and depression are almost frighteningly common ) and having someone be dishonest with me just serves as a reminder that I'm not really safe, that I can't really trust. Even when I think I've done my due diligence, someone still manages to get over on me and sell me a fu***ng cable TV that they know damn well I don't want.
It's like the ground is never solid beneath my feet. I can never be sure of anything because I"m never sure if someone is telling me the truth, or if they are only the selected bits of it that will get them what they want from me. Of course, that's pretty much always true of anyone. Most people, erm, edit the truth in daily conversation, leaving out details that might cast them in a negative light, things like that. We dont' tell people things because we dont' want to hurth their feelings. Lying by omission is pretty much a social lubricant, getting us over potentially awkward situation. And most of this omittive dishonesty really doesn't have a lot of effect on decisions people make about their own lives. When people are deceptive in this way, they're not out to get anything from you, they just want to smooth over a rough situation by keeping their mouth shut.
I wonder how many truly honest people there are in the world, people who would never lie except to protect another person from harm. I'd bet precious few. Even people who would never tell an outright barefaced will deceive by omission if they think it necessary. I've actually met a couple, most people considered them blunt and rude. I appreciated their bluntness. I knew where I stood with them. I knew what they were saying to my face, they weren't saying behind my back.
And that''s my post. Really Facebook has been periodically nagging me to write one, and I don't feel up to the digital photograpy and uploading involved with doing a Card of the Day. So, basically, this is a b rain dump.
